As always a title to the blog that may take some explaining. In our house there is one song that as my son was growing up we would sing whilst washing up or just anytime. We also heard it as a dodgy cover version in Egypt and all had a good sing along.
The song is of course “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers and is a song about a conversation. Nassir Ghaemi for Psychology today states that the writer David Schiltz later associated the song with getting advice from his father and Nassir goes on to state what the song means to him and its meaning.
Now for me, you could take the song literally about Gambling and knowing when to hold ’em or fold ’em or when to walk away, or you can see that it is about courage, risk and wisdom.
At present I am reading “Courage is Calling” by Ryan Holiday which is obviously about one of the 4 cardinal virtues in Stoicism (Courage, Justice, Temperance and Wisdom) the whole book is about Courage in all its forms and got me thinking about our own forms of courage.
We all know the most obvious forms of courage and if anything ongoing world events in Ukraine show us ultimate courage but also at times the softer more subtle courage can take all of the 4 virtues to achieve.
“Ryan Holiday” refers to Helvidius Priscus the Roman Senator who was commanded by Emperor Vespasian not to appear in the senate. This was a regular tactic to stop people asking questions. It was an intimidation tactic by the Emperor.
Helvidius, according to Holiday, responded: “it is in your power not to allow me to be a member of the senate, but so long as I am, I must go in.”
“but you better not say anything” Vespasian responded.
“Do not ask my opinion, and I will be silent” (Helvidius)
It goes on to show that Helivdius was threatened with death if he was to choose to speak.
Nowadays, thankfully, in most societies and settings there is not the fear of death, but for some the fear of speaking out, can outweigh the need to speak up even if this means compromising their own ethics and virtue.
This is where, for me, “The Gambler” comes into play. Knowing when to hold ’em, fold ’em or walk away is something I have had to learn and develop and at times I’ve played the bluff.
What I have never done though is be afraid to “speak truth to power” to say what others are most likely thinking and to not worry about the resulting consequences.
This is a natural behaviour for me and is one of the 4 virtues to living a good life.
However, it can come at a cost for some and “courage” is hard in some environments especially if you are focussed on the next steps. Next promotion or afraid of the consequences.
At times you will be “out of aces” and you’ve got to learn to play the game and play it right.
“If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realise you have compromised your own integrity” Epictetus
This statement is something we can all learn from and try to live by. If you constantly seek outside approval don’t say or challenge something because you are afraid of not getting approval, not fitting in or someone thinking of you differently then you are compromising. If this compromise is your own ethics and virtue then perhaps it’s time to think again.
Leading into the fire 